We Spoke As People, Not As Partisans

"When was the last time we spoke as people, not as partisans?
When was the last time we used intellect in favor of rhetoric?
All these walls we build are fine I guess
But I don't like who they come between"

I'm working on a new song called 'Partisan', just scratch tracks for now.

I've really come to hate the way idealogies & politics have come to set people apart from each other, more so now than what I've seen at any point in my life.

Compared to most people, I was raised very differently and politics is no exception. Now I hold no faith or religious belief but I was raised in an unpopular fringe religion that taught absolute abstinance from all politics. The prevailing thought was that members must be completely neutral politically - no voting, no political parties, no flag saluting, no national anthems, no military service. Nothing.

After leaving religion behind me in the mid 90s, I still felt no reason to buy into politics or nationalism. It wasn't until 9/11/01 that I even began paying any attention whatsoever to politics, or developed any sense of being a part of the USA. Until then, I still said they when I referenced the US.

9/11 jolted me a little and made me realize that even if I tried living as an outsider, the decisions made by our nation's politicians would still directly impact my life. So I started paying attention - history, political process, policy, etc. I still didn't care about parties or sides. Some good, some bad in each and both trying their hardest to smear, slander & stereotype the other. You know the broad-brushed dishonest stereotypes that people are brainwashed into:

Conservatives are all Christians and hate gays, want to oppress blacks & women; are war mongers, or big business automatons, want to destroy the Earth. Liberals are all prancing little pansies, appeasers, rally behind death row inmates rather than the victim's families, want a welfare state rather than personal responsibility, want to destroy our nation and usher in communism and socialism and destroy individual freedoms.

My opinion is that there are grains of truth in some of those stereotypes for BOTH sides, some are outright falsehoods, and some are true of BOTH sides even though they point fingers at each other about it. There are ups and downs to each party and neither even comes close to approaching being a trustworthy custodian of our basic freedoms and rights. Neither is better than the other because they are both leading us to the same place, albeit via different routes.

One party may lead us into hell a little more slowly than the other, but it's the same destination. Sure they each play to different constituent groups but neither is righteous, healthy, fair or just. They are both bought and sold by the same big business interests, and by a desire to perpetuate and grow their own power bases. Governments are power structures, and what power structures do best is shore up and grow their power - anything else is just fodder for we the ignorant masses, to keep us appeased while they destroy our rights.


With the Iraq invasion, everything changed. I'm not stating an opinion one way or the other about the fact of the invasion - that's another discussion. After polarization deepened as a result of the 2000 election, the Iraq war positioned us all perfectly for an even deeper devide. Everywhere I went, people who were friends and never fought would be seen vehemently attacking one another over this, and over GW. It wasn't civil discourse - it was ugly, dishonest, partisan bickering. I rarely saw or engaged in a discussion over anything related that didn't result in a lot of completely untrue things (often lies distributed by one party or the other) being thrown out there, along with tons of insults - and this between people that liked each other! Even married couples that had gotten along fine for years started fighting over it, and very ugly fights at that!

It was ugly. Worse, is that it is worsening. People meet and where tolerance for differing opinions used to exist it's now "oh...you're a conservative", or "oh...you're one of those liberals". "Our ideologies are different, so you must be either an evil person or a fool and we can't be friends".

Maybe it's not like that for you personally, Mr/Mrs Reader. But I see it everywhere I go and I've never seen it in my life. I understand that I wasn't raised the same as most in that I was fed neutrality instead of a political opinion or bias, and that I always steered clear of politics & rhetoric. But I really do feel that it's not just me becoming more aware, but that things have really changed interpersonally for many in this nation - and worse, throughout the world.

I am extremely saddened by this, it really rips my heart out. I can't describe how saddened, and disgusted and even alienated this makes me feel. Since when did we put partisanship ahead of humanity? Since when did mindlessly repeating a political party's talking points replace interacting with decency and fairness as people? Since when did we start judging by the perceived political leanings of a person, rather than the character of their being?

It's sad, it's stupid and it's harmful. I have real misgivings about where this nation and the world are headed. Unfortuantely it is in the best interest of these political power structures to maximize the polarization rather than minimize it. Why should we play along? The vast majority of politicians are worthless - why can't we be better than that?

Daniel
~~~~~


Lyrics to Partisan
© 2006, Daniel Watkins

When was the last time we spoke as people, not as partisans?
When was the last time we used intellect in favor of rhetoric?
All these walls we build are fine I guess, but I dont like who they come between.

Our time - our time can always be better spent

When was the first time, instead of comrades we found the enemy?
When was the first time was saw the bill of sale and parted with currency?
All of these walls are fine I guess, in theory if not in fact.

Our time - our time, in limited quantity it can always be better spent

Can we walk the same road, can we walk the same road for a while?
In the lives that we know, can we walk the same road for a while?

I pray its the last time that we fall prey to the madness of the crowd
I pray that the next time we discard everything except that which matters
All of these walls are cheap at best, worthless constructs wasting our time.

Our time - our time, I pray we spend it well because we cannot bring it back

Can we walk the same road, can we walk the same road for a while?
These are the lives that we know, can we walk the same road for a while?

Can it be made right? Can it be made right?

Underneath The Century House

"In this life there must be some kind of meaning, some reason for feeling this way."

A lyric I wrote a year or two ago which sums up something simple, yet crucial. So simple it's forgotten or ignored, so common it's not even mentioned - so vital and important we run from it every chance we get.

Maybe there's not a meaning, maybe there's not a reason. Maybe this life is really just a series of random storms blowing, ships passing, jokes being told among friends and about friends around campfires - random peices of driftwood arranged in curious shapes on a random beach. Random changes in life's direction, changing our shapes like that campfire's smoke which rises and curls into sickly oblivion on the wind.

So many moments, moods, memories.


Looking through a box of old pictures tonight. There is so much pathos, pain, joy, regret, pride, confusion, love, loss, fear, yearning, desire, hurt, empathy, anger, shame, hope. So much good and bad, so many in-betweens.

In the box I found evidence of things I'd forgotten.

Childhood pictures of my first time at a carnival - begging & crying to ride the ferris wheel, then begging to NOT have to once it came to it. My first haircut - a good old crew cut which I begged for then threw a fit to avoid. My first day of school in my 'fire engine red' shirt with the little zipper/ring thing at the collar. Swimming lessons one summer in Virginia.

My brothers and I building our treehouse, all smiles with our handsaws and hammers. Us sitting on a couch at our grandparents, each trying to sit the tallest in the picture - and wearing those horrible patterned pants & shirts that were popular in the day! Me in my school guard crossing badge, beaming with pride. Me and my little brother all dressed up, bookbags in hand. Where are those brothers now?


Pictures of my parents, whom I love and still make the effort to keep in touch with. I value them more and more as time goes on, and I realize the loss that will hit one day if I outlive them.

Pictures - my parents when they were together still. Their 25th anniversary, cutting a cake. My parents dancing. Dressed for a formal event one night and leaving us with a sitter. The memory of the day their relationship ended after 35 years. I was there as a mediator, a buffer - it was painful and horrific.

I remembered Dad climing a telephone pole with those spike hooks - I remember the time after a tornado when he had to climb a pole that was broken and held only by wires, so as to restore emergency communications. I held a flashlight for him and was afraid he was going to die like one of his coworkers had. Dad being angry at me, yelling and my being afraid he would have a heart attack and die. Dad jumping out of the car after seeing a mob of kids messing with me at a bus stop (I was the only white kid) - and all I could do was be embarrassed, rather than appreciate the feelings a dad has when he sees his child being hurt. Dad trying to help me change out the transmission on my first car, and the fight we had - he was the helper now on my project, not the other way around and it was an awkward arrangement.


Mom - helping me when I was 2 years old and had gotten my foot stung when accidentally stepping on a bumble bee. I still remember the moment that happened believe it or not; a robin on the ground, birds singing, bright sun, walking under the swing set and then the pain.

Mom, helping me run a backyard obstacle course and jump the hurdles so as to keep up with the bigger kids. "I can't do it, I can't do it", but she helped me do it anyway.


Pictures of girls I knew, bringing up so many memories and conflicting feelings.

That girl in High School with a cute smile and look in her eye that I wish I'd taken her up on; a beauty from Mexico that I danced with and wrote to; the girl that liked me when we were kids, and I didn't have the good grace to let it be (I had to spoil it with ugly words because it embarrassed me and I wanted to push her off).

My first kiss, with Sharon after we snuck onto private property in the middle of the night and laid on a dock at the lake - completely to ourselves that winter night all the way until sunrise: "on the river of ice the stars explode" as I wrote the next morning.

A girl I dated from Australia and that kiss the night before she went back, never to return. Sleeping in my car outside her parents' place that night because I couldn't bear to leave and not see her again. The letters we wrote afterward.

Another girl that liked me and let me know every way she could, but that I was too inexperienced (or dumb) to understand until years later. I didn't mean to hurt her, it's just that I didn't understand until it was too late.

The girl I proposed to when I was 22, and the way our marriage ended 6 1/2 years later. The joy of being newlyweds, the surety that it was forever. Our two cats. Her family get togethers in Louisiana. The fights, the making up. The agony of telling her it was over.

Ah, another set of pictures. A girl I spent hours crying with as I broke off our relationship, even though I still cared for her. It seemed to be a pattern.

Another girl I met and loved and started to part with, but whom I realized I couldn't leave and am still with and still love.


MORE pictures.

My old 67 Mustang and my 70 Mustang! I love those, my first two cars. A pic of that red acoustic guitar I had, and the old 1920's upright piano. The banjo I got, and the violin that my friend George Neal accidentally broke! My mom's old guitar that was given to me, and that I stupidly sold for 30 peices of silver. My Fender tube amp! The Les Paul that Paula got me a few years ago.


The pictures of my previous life when I was religiously inclined. All of those friends that deserted me when I left the religion. All those friends from my whole life to that point - lost. The confusion and guilt of leaving it all, and the vacuum that loss caused me to feel for years. The following journey through philosphies & religions: the Koran, the Talmud, Mahamudra, Bhagavad Gita, etc. What is there? Is there such a thing as redemption and am I worth redeeming?


What a muddled mish-mash of dreams.

Was this life real? If I can remember all of this from a box of pictures, how much have I forgotten in total?? This is all just from my perspective, my isolated little understanding. What did others see of those same times, events, relationships?

This life is so much more than we can ever see, understand, feel or be.

Thank you for letting me rant, remember and ramble.

Daniel