At Odds...
I don't know how much more 'at odds' I could be in life.
It seems that throughout my life, my independent thinking has put me at odds with my peers and caused rifts between myself and those of any given group that I am considered to be a member of.
I have lived parts of my life in so many difficult & varied positions and in so many diametrically opposite circumstances that I have gained perspectives that many of my peers have not.
I don't mean to suggest that I am the only one to have gained insights through these kinds of opposing entanglements in life, but I do believe that the majority have not so thoroughly lived them.
Through these things I have gained empathy beyond what many around me have, some insight I think - and have in so many cases moved from one side of an argument or belief system into a totally differing position. This can make me unpopular with those that hold either position strongly because unlike them I do not just see "my" side, I see both through having lived both.
While I am extremely passionate about my beliefs, I also realize that we are not infallible and that our beliefs should always be open to change if a stronger & better viewpoint reveals itself.
Whether it be the political right & left - I am at odds with both positions, even while grasping and to some degree holding close to aspects of each. Or religionists or secularists, I am at odds with both - yet hold an understanding of both that few will ever have. I have lived both positions on each of these, and not just on the fringes but heart & soul dedicated to one or the other at certain times in my life.
I've been physically attacked for refusing to salute a flag or sing a national anthem, yet attacked by others verbally as a "jingoistic flag-waving nationalist'. I've been an anti-war type and non-violent pacifist who was prepared to suffer or even die for that position, yet also a staunch 2nd Amendment gun-rights advocate and someone that absolutely & unapoligetically believes in the right to self defense with whatever level of force is neccesary in order to prevail and preserve your life. How can such contradictions be?
I have been the oblivious dreamer sleepwalking through reality, and in other times been hyperfocused and situtationally aware while everyone else sleepwalked right by me. I've done years of unpaid volunteer work to benefit the Spanish speaking community and counted many illegals as my friends, yet also been upset by the scope of the illegal invasion and the damage it's doing. Economically, whether it be poor & living out of a car or living in an expensive lavish house - I have done both. Whether it be wrecking a relationship, or desperately trying to hold one together - I've done both. So many things like this I could name but it would take hours.
I wish my peers would understand that my views are formed from a depth of life experience and never just a lemminglike wish to fit in with the group OR a desire to be difficult and 'different'. Instead of quick harsh judgements I wish more of my peers would actually consider an intelligent, logical and heartfelt constructive discussion - one without the trappings of dogma, partisanship, etc.
I am very tolerant towards the viewpoints of others and wish more of them would be the same instead of letting philosophical or ideological differences be an excuse for distance.
I am at odds with the world and am afraid it will always be this way.
dw
"I never submitted the whole system of my opinion to the creed of any party of men whatever - in religion, in philosophy, in politics, or in anything else where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent. If I could not go to heaven but with a party, I would not go there at all."
-- Thomas Jefferson, letter to Francis Hopkinson, (1789)
It seems that throughout my life, my independent thinking has put me at odds with my peers and caused rifts between myself and those of any given group that I am considered to be a member of.
I have lived parts of my life in so many difficult & varied positions and in so many diametrically opposite circumstances that I have gained perspectives that many of my peers have not.
I don't mean to suggest that I am the only one to have gained insights through these kinds of opposing entanglements in life, but I do believe that the majority have not so thoroughly lived them.
Through these things I have gained empathy beyond what many around me have, some insight I think - and have in so many cases moved from one side of an argument or belief system into a totally differing position. This can make me unpopular with those that hold either position strongly because unlike them I do not just see "my" side, I see both through having lived both.
While I am extremely passionate about my beliefs, I also realize that we are not infallible and that our beliefs should always be open to change if a stronger & better viewpoint reveals itself.
Whether it be the political right & left - I am at odds with both positions, even while grasping and to some degree holding close to aspects of each. Or religionists or secularists, I am at odds with both - yet hold an understanding of both that few will ever have. I have lived both positions on each of these, and not just on the fringes but heart & soul dedicated to one or the other at certain times in my life.
I've been physically attacked for refusing to salute a flag or sing a national anthem, yet attacked by others verbally as a "jingoistic flag-waving nationalist'. I've been an anti-war type and non-violent pacifist who was prepared to suffer or even die for that position, yet also a staunch 2nd Amendment gun-rights advocate and someone that absolutely & unapoligetically believes in the right to self defense with whatever level of force is neccesary in order to prevail and preserve your life. How can such contradictions be?
I have been the oblivious dreamer sleepwalking through reality, and in other times been hyperfocused and situtationally aware while everyone else sleepwalked right by me. I've done years of unpaid volunteer work to benefit the Spanish speaking community and counted many illegals as my friends, yet also been upset by the scope of the illegal invasion and the damage it's doing. Economically, whether it be poor & living out of a car or living in an expensive lavish house - I have done both. Whether it be wrecking a relationship, or desperately trying to hold one together - I've done both. So many things like this I could name but it would take hours.
I wish my peers would understand that my views are formed from a depth of life experience and never just a lemminglike wish to fit in with the group OR a desire to be difficult and 'different'. Instead of quick harsh judgements I wish more of my peers would actually consider an intelligent, logical and heartfelt constructive discussion - one without the trappings of dogma, partisanship, etc.
I am very tolerant towards the viewpoints of others and wish more of them would be the same instead of letting philosophical or ideological differences be an excuse for distance.
I am at odds with the world and am afraid it will always be this way.
dw
"I never submitted the whole system of my opinion to the creed of any party of men whatever - in religion, in philosophy, in politics, or in anything else where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent. If I could not go to heaven but with a party, I would not go there at all."
-- Thomas Jefferson, letter to Francis Hopkinson, (1789)
posted by Centuryhouse at 9:28 PM
5 Comments:
'jingoistic flag-waving nationalist' - That's exactly what I used to call my ex-wife. If Bush had invaded Canada, she would have supported it.
It took me a while to understand that you can be a proud American and NOT agree with the nation's policies.
Partisan politics is ugly and the country is intensely polarised. It's left or right with nothing in between -until you begin to actually look at the leaders' voting records and choices. To me, the two parties are like parents in a divorce. We, the countrymen (and women) are their children who must suffer through it all -though many have chosen sides. And if you're not with them, you must be against them. I HATE IT.
Internationally, it become even muddier. Someone recently implied (at the Womb) that the Muslims fighting the police in France were expressing outrage at US foreign policy. I must have missed that somehow!?
It's a frustrating, frightening time.
Another superb blog my friend. I think we're living in the wrong world. This world is one of sound-bites and pigeon-holes driven by the politicians and media, none of whom have the time or inclination to actually debate things with those of us that aren't swayed by a headline. US people that look into and read different views on things and then make our own informed decisions.
I must admit i admire your ability to change your stance, And be honest about it. I've often maintained a viewpoint which i'd perhaps lost faith in due to my own pure stubborness. I'd like to think i'm wiser now.
Great blogs Daniel _ I totally forgot your century house blogspot - I've just been going to your myspace sites - so I've missed most of your blogs for the last few months!! Nice quote from Thomas Jefferson.
I agree completely Daniel. It is hard to have seemingly contradictory beliefs in this country. For example: I am ardent supporter for universal health care, but I believe that many other government aid programs are mismanaged and do more harm than good by creating a culture of people who feel they are entitled to financial government support. I too am a pacifist, but also support the 2nd amendment. I am for the most part a social libertarian and believe in government non-interference in people's lives, yet I am also an environmentalist who thinks that the government should do all it can to curtail our rampant consumption of natural resources and pollution. Like yourself, my opinions have been formed by a lifetime of experience and thought. I am also thoughtful enough that I am willing to change my opinion or belief in something when I am presented with valid information that contradicts my current viewpoint.
we are so much a like. I wonder if it is because our moms were so close. Or our background. Thanks for telling me about this site. ttys. "me too, uh-huh, etc. etc."
Post a Comment
<< Home